The Jack Tales Read online

  “Well!” she says, “if I’m that pretty, I’ll not stay here any longer.” And she set her bucket down and left there to hunt her up a sweetheart.

  Then the old woman she came out about the water, looked over in the spring, saw that girl’s shadder in there, says, “Huh! If I’m that pretty, I’ll not live with that ugly old man another minute!” So she left the water bucket standin’ there and down the road she put.

  Then the old man came out to see what was the matter. He looked in the spring, says, “Surely, surely, I’m not that pretty.” He went lookin’ around and fin’ly saw that girl up there in the tree, says, “What in the world are you a-doin’ up there?”

  “Restin’,” she told him.

  “Come on down,” says the old man; “you can rest at the house.”

  So she came down and filled the bucket and carried it back to the house for the old man; and his old woman and his girl didn’t come back, and didn’t come back, so he says to that girl, “I reckon they’ve done left me. Do you want to hire to do my cookin’ and washin’ for me?”

  “Yes,” she says, “I’ll hire.”

  So she stayed on there and did the old man’s cookin’ and house-keepin’ and water-totin’.

  Now Jack got to talkin’ to an old sweetheart he had there ’fore he left, and pretty soon they fixed up to get married.

  All the neighbors wanted new shoes to wear to the weddin’ and they got to goin’ to that old shoemaker. A young man came there about his shoes, and when he saw that girl he thought she was the prettiest woman he’d ever looked at. So he asked could he stay and talk with her awhile. She told him he could, and he stayed so long she commenced gettin’ sleepy; but he didn’t leave, and didn’t leave, till fin’ly she says to him, “Would you mind coverin’ the fire for me?”

  He said he would, and when he started shovelin’ the ashes up over the logs she slipped up in the loft.

  Then she called down to him, says, “You got it covered?”

  “Not yet,” he told her.

  “Well,” she says, “your hand stick to the shovel and hit stick to you, and you set there and pat the fire till day.”

  So that young feller sat there a-hold of the shovel with his shins a-burnin’ and kept pattin’ in the ashes till daylight.

  Then another young man came and—Lord! he thought she was so pretty he just had to stay and talk to her that night. He stayed on and stayed on till she wanted to go to bed.

  So she got up and says to him, “Law me! There’s a gander to put up. I like to forgot it. Would you put it up for me?”

  He said he’d do it, and when he got the gander cornered and caught it, the girl came to the door, says, “You caught it yet?”

  “Yes, I got it.”

  “Then you hold to hit, and hit stick to you till day.”

  So that boy had to stay out there all night a-holdin’ on to that old gander, and it a-hootin’ and a-hissin’ and floggin’ him with its wings, till daylight the next mornin’.

  Then Jack came about his shoes, and when he saw the girl he got stuck on her somethin’ awful. He kept on hangin’ around till ’way up in the night. Then the girl got to gapin’ and yawnin’ and so she says to Jack all at once, “Oh, law me! There’s a calf to pen. I surely like to forgot all about it. Would you mind pennin’ it for me?” Jack said Sure, he’d pen the calf for her, and when he got out to the calf, she hollered to him, says, “You got hold of the rope?”

  “Yes,” says Jack.

  “Then you hang to hit, and hit hang to you, till day.”

  So Jack had to hang on to that rope with the calf a-bawlin’ and a-pullin’ and him a-hoppin’ up and down and runnin’ all through the mud in the barn lot all night long. Jack was sure a sight to look at when daylight broke. He came to the house and tried to wash up a little and he gave that girl a lot of money not to tell it on him. Hit ’uld not do for such a tale to get out on him and him about to get married; it would ’a ruint him.

  Well, the weddin’ was that next Sunday and the old man fixed up to go. He asked the girl did she want to go, but she said No, she was a stranger there and she guessed she’d stay at the house; but after the old man left, she slipped out and went on up to the church house.

  Jack had just stepped out on the floor to get married when she ran her hand in her pocket and pulled out a little box. She opened it and a banty hen and rooster jumped out. Then she reached in her pocket and took out three grains of barley, threw one of’em down and the hen got it. The little rooster ran up and pecked the hen, and the girl says, “Take care, my good fellow! You don’t know the time I cleared a thicket for ye and stopped Old King Marock with all them thorn trees and briars.”

  Jack heard her and tried to get a look through the crowd to see what was happenin’. That other girl punched Jack to make him listen to the preacher. The preacher tried to go on, but that girl threw down another grain of barley. The little hen got it and the rooster pecked her again.

  “Take care, my good fellow! You don’t know the time I dreened a well for ye and stopped Old King Marock with all that water.”

  Jack wasn’t payin’ no mind to what the preacher was sayin’. Nearly ever’body quit watchin’ the weddin’ and crowded around that girl to see what she was doin’ with her banty chickens. Then she threw down the other grain of barley for the banty hen and the rooster ran over and pecked the hen. That time even the preacher went over to see what was goin’ on.

  “Take care, my good fellow! You don’t know the time I built a twelve-story house for ye, and stopped Old King Marock with that rocky mountain.”

  Well, Jack left that other girl standin’ there in the middle of the floor, came through the crowd and went up to that girl, says, “Well, I guess I know somethin’ about all that.”

  So he took her by the hand and called the preacher and he married ’em and Jack took the girl on home with him and they lived happy.

  Now some folks tell it that King Marock was the Devil. I have heard the tale told that-a-way. Anyhow, even if the old King was mean and roguish, his girl was pretty smart. She made Jack a good wife.

  Jack’s Hunting Trips

  Back in old times there was plenty of good game back on these mountains here. And one time Jack started out real early in the mornin’ on a huntin’ trip. Took his daddy’s old flintlock rifle down from over the fireboard, got the powder horn and some bullets, and pulled out up the river. He traveled on through the woods a right smart ways, didn’t see nothin’ much for a considerable long while, till first thing he knowed he looked up ahead of him, saw a deer standin’ under a big oak tree—biggest deer he’d ever seen. And right over that deer was a whole flock of wild turkeys settin’ on a limb. They were a-settin’ up right close together in a row and the limb was pointin’ right Jack’s way. Jack didn’t know what to do. He wanted that deer, but he wanted them turkeys too. So he got out his knife and cut the ramrod in two, put one bullet on top of the powder, then he put that half-a-ramrod in the gun and put another bullet at the top end of hit. He drawed down on the deer and when he pulled the trigger he jerked up on the gun so’s the bottom bullet would go down that row of turkeys, ’lowed maybe he’d get him five or six of ’em at one shot. Well, he got the deer all right, but that other bullet struck the limb them turkeys were settin’ on, split it open, and when the split clamped back together, hit clamped down on the middle toe of ever’ one of them turkeys and just helt ’em there so they couldn’t fly at all. Jack saw ’em a-squawkin’ and a-floppin’ and knowed he had them caught, so he went on over to look at his deer. Hit was a full-grown buck, had horns on him reached about six foot from tip to tip. Jack started to walk around him, saw somethin’ kickin’ in the bresh. Looked and found him a big fat rabbit. That bullet had gone plumb through the deer and killed a rabbit settin’ in the weeds. Then Jack saw where the bullet had glanced into a holler tree. There was somethin’ sticky oozin’ out the hole. Jack stuck his finger in it and tasted it. Hit was sourwood honey. That holler tree
was packed full of wild honey right up to the top. Well, Jack looked up at all them turkeys a-flutterin’ and cluckin’, and ’lowed he’d cut the limb off and take ’em home alive. So he scaled up the tree and com-menced cuttin’ on that limb. When it came loose, he grabbed hold on it, but when he done that them turkeys all set in to flyin’ and carried Jack on off a-hangin’ to the limb. Jack was mighty near scared to death. He didn’t know whether he could hold on till they stopped somewhere. Well, they kept right on up over the tops of the trees, and fin’ly Jack saw they were headed to fly right over an old stumpy tree standin’ up on a ridge. So Jack said it didn’t differ whether they stopped or no, he was goin’ to try to drap off and light on that stumpy tree. So when they got right over it, Jack let go, but when he drapped, instead of lightin’ on top of that tree, hit was holler, and Jack lit right in the mouth of the holler, went clean to the bottom. When he got up and quit staggerin’ around, Jack felt somethin’ come out from one side the holler and rub up against his legs. Then two more came out and got to gruntin’ around and stumblin’ over his feet. Jack’s eyes fin’ly got used to how dark it was down there, and he saw it was three young grizzly bears.

  “Bedad!” says Jack. “The old bear’ll be a-comin’ down in here directly and she’ll eat me sure!”

  He couldn’t figger no way in the world to get out of there. So he had to study him some plan to try and defend himself. He’d lost his knife when he grabbed that limb. He searched ever’ pocket he had, and all he could find was a old table fork with only one prong on it. Well, Jack knowed that old bear ’uld have to come down back’erds, so he decided what he’d do and he just waited and started pettin’ them cubs a little. Then directly somethin’ cut the light out above him all of a sudden-like and Jack heard the old grizzly bear a-scrougin’ down the holler. Jumped up and reached one hand up over his head just as high as he could. And when the old bear got down close enough, Jack seized hold on her tail and com-menced gougin’ her with that old table fork. The old bear went to scramblin’ back out the holler and Jack he swung on tight and kept on gougin’ her. When they got out at the top, Jack gave her a right quick shove and the old bear fell to the ground and broke her neck.

  Jack sat there on the tree awhile and studied what he’d do next. Fin’ly he ’lowed he’d go on home and get the team to tote in his bear and his deer so he could get ’em skinned out. Well he cloomb on down and pulled out for home. Got to the river, he saw a bunch of wild ducks a-swimmin’ on the near side of a bend where it was pretty deep. Jack just had to have them ducks, and he couldn’t figger out how in the world he could get ’em without no gun or nothin’. He studied about it a little, then he tied the bottoms of his overhalls so’s he could swim a little better, crope up and slipped in the river, kept on easin’ in till he was plumb under the water. Then he went to swimmin’ around under there, pulled out a long piece of string he had in his overhall pocket, and right easy-like so’s not to scare ’em, he tied all the ducks’ feet together. He didn’t aim to let ’em fly off with him like the turkeys done, so he dove on down to the bottom and tied that rope to a big sycamore root. Then he popped up out the water right in amongst all them ducks and they started in quackin’ and a-floppin’ to rise off the water, that rope ’uld jerk ’em back, and directly they were all tangled up in one bundle. Jack started wadin’ out, and when he got out on the bank his pants legs felt awful heavy, and he noticed somethin’ kickin’ around inside ’em. He’d been down there under the water so long a bunch of fish had done got tangled up inside his old baggy overhalls. So Jack ontied his legs and kicked around till he’d shook ’em all out, and when he strung ’em up they weighed about thirty pounds. Jack slung his fish across his shoulder and picked up that passel of ducks and went on. He kept on lookin’ for them turkeys, but he reckoned they’d done flown clean out the country by that time.

  When he got home, Will and Tom didn’t believe Jack had done all that. They hitched up the team to a big sled and took two big barrels to fetch the honey. They got the deer loaded on and Jack picked up the rabbit and throwed it on the sled ’side the deer.

  Then they cut the bee-tree, and after they’d filled both barrels, the holler was still half full. Then they hauled all that back to the house, and put out after the bear. Hit weighed more’n the deer did, but they fin’ly got it loaded on. Then Will and Tom cut a hole in the bear holler and Jack caught the young’uns. They made some rope halters and tied the young bears behind the sled.

  When they got out in the road again and had gone along a ways, they heard some wild turkeys a-squawkin’ and there was Jack’s flock still fastened on that limb and hit all tangled up on top of some bramble briars where they’d tried to light down in the bresh. Jack got him a long pole and whacked ’em all in the head to stunt ’em so’s they wouldn’t try to fly off no more. Then he knocked the limb loose and flung his turkeys on top of the bear.

  They skinned out the deer and the bear and cured up the meat. Jack made him a couple of pens for his ducks and his turkeys, and his mother canned up all them fishes; and Jack and his folks had bear meat and deer meat and turkey meat and duck meat and fish meat to last ’em a right smart while.

  Jack tamed up them young bear cubs and carried ’em down to the King’s house. The King and his folks took on so over them young bears, they paid Jack a thousand dollars a-piece for ’em, They went back and got the rest of that honey too. I forget how long it was Jack eat on that honey.

  II

  Then there was that time I went huntin’ with Jack. I had stayed all night down there, and Jack and I made it up to go out together the next mornin’. I didn’t have my gun with me, but that didn’t differ. We aimed to take turns with the long rifle Jack had. We went down the river a pretty far piece, and then we struck out through the woods where the timber hadn’t been cut off. We didn’t have much luck, and about twelve we stopped to eat the rations Jack’s mother had fixed up for us. Jack sat down on a stump and I got up on a big black log. I took out my bread and started eatin’. Then I opened my knife, cut me off a chunk of meat, and jobbed my knife down in that log. Then I noticed Jack wasn’t where I thought he was.

  “Where you goin’, Jack?”

  “I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” says Jack. “What are you slippin’ down that log for?”

  “I ain’t slippin’ down no log,” I told him. “Why are you a-ridin’ that stump off like that?”

  “This stump’s right here. You’re the one that’s a-movin’.”

  Then I saw a bush come between me and Jack, so I looked around me and I’ll be confounded if I wasn’t ridin’ right along through the bresh. I jumped off that log in a hurry and it crawled on off. Hit was the biggest blamed blacksnake you ever saw.

  Well, we finished our snack and went on. We fooled around shootin’ squirrels and pheasants and one thing and another. Came out in a big pasture on top of the mountain directly and went along the rail fence lookin’ for bobwhites and turkeys and rabbits. All at once Jack stopped, says, “Look yonder!” There set about twelve big wild turkeys stretched out along the top of that fence.

  “I wish they was all settin’ on one rail,” says Jack. “I might get several with one shot.”

  “That’s a fact,” I told him. “You ain’t goin’ to get but one this-a-way. Take the big gobbler on this end.”

  Jack didn’t hear what I said. He had slipped his rifle barrel between two little saplin’s growin’ side by side, and was pullin’ against the stock.

  “What in the world ye doin’, Jack?”

  “I’ll show ye in a minute,” he says.

  Jack kept lookin’ first at that fence where the turkeys were settin’, then he’d bend his gun again. Well, sir, Jack put a crook in his gun for every crook in the fence and when he shot the ball went zig-zaggin’ down that row of turkeys and killed ever’ last one. So I went and got ’em while Jack straightened out his gun.

  We had a pretty good load of wild meat by that time, so we started on back. Got on down the
mountain and came out in a wide swag toward the river and a big deer jumped, ran off a little ways and stopped. Jack hadn’t loaded his gun and he poured some powder in right quick and reached in his pocket for a ball. Then he jerked his hand out and reached in another pocket.

  “Blame it!” he says. “I’m plumb out of lead, sure’s the world!”

  I didn’t think I had any shot with me, but I com-menced searchin’ through all my pockets too. I couldn’t find a thing but some peach seed where I been eatin’ peaches and saved the pits to take home and plant.

  Jack saw me take out a handful of ’em, says, “Hand here one of them peach rock.”

  He grabbed one and rammed it down in his rifle; raised up and shot. Hit that deer somewhere on the shoulder, ’cause we saw the blood fly, but the deer ran off. Then directly we jumped two more deer. It looked like a whole flock of ’em was in that swag. So Jack loaded up with another peach rock, and the next deer that jumped he tried again. Blam! He didn’t bring it down, but we saw blood on the leaves and rocks when we went on a piece, so we knowed it had been hit all right. Well, sir, Jack kept loadin’ up with peach seed and the deer kept jumpin’ and Jack kept on tryin’ to get one till I didn’t have any peach rocks left.

  Well, we were gettin’ down closer to the river when all at once a big black bear came out of a laurel thicket, and ’fore we saw it hardly the blame thing r’ared up and growled and came right straight at us with its mouth wide open. Me and Jack we dropped ever’thing right there and up two trees we went, and Jack went up his little hickory saplin’ so fast he cloomb six feet out the top. But he caught on a branch when he fell back in the tree and we both just waited till the old bear went on off.

  Then we headed up the river, came to a little creek, and we was lookin’ for a place to jump when we both noticed the water in the creek bed was movin’ awful slow.