The Jack Tales Read online

  Directly Jack heard him a-comin’ to the door rattlin’ buckets. So he stepped back from the house and made like he was just comin’ up. The old giant came on out, says, “There ain’t a bit of water up, Jack. The old woman wants you and me to tote her some from the creek.”

  Jack saw he had four piggins big as wash tubs, had rope bails fixed on ’em, had ’em slung on one arm. So they went on down to the creek and the old giant set the piggins down. Stove his two in, got ’em full and started on back. Jack knowed he couldn’t even tip one of them things over and hit empty. So he left his two piggins a-layin’ there, waded out in the creek and started rollin’ up his sleeves. The old giant stopped and looked back, saw Jack spit in his hands and start feelin’ around under the water.

  “What in the world ye fixin’ to do, Jack?”

  “Well, daddy,” says Jack, “just as soon as I can find a place to ketch a hold, I’m a-goin’ to take the creek back up there closer to the house where your old woman can get her water everwhen she wants it.”

  “Oh, no, Jack! Not take the creek back. Hit’ll ruin my cornfield. And besides that, my old lady’s gettin’ sort-a shaky on her feet; she might fall in and get drownded.”

  “Well, then,” says Jack, “I can’t be a-wastin’ my time takin’ back them two little bitty bucketfulls. Why, I’d not want to be seen totin’ such little buckets as them.”

  “Just leave ’em there, then, Jack. Come on, let’s go back to the house. Mind, now, you come on here and leave the creek there where it’s at.”

  When they got back, he told his old woman what Jack had said. Says, “Why, Law me! I had a time gettin’ him to leave that creek alone.”

  He came on out again, told Jack supper wasn’t ready yet, said for him to come on and they’d play pitch-crowbar till it was time to eat. They went on down to the level field, the old giant picked up a crowbar from the fence corner. Hit must ’a weighed about a thousand pounds. Says, “Now, Jack, we’ll see who can pitch this crowbar the furthest. That’s a game me and the boys used to play.”

  So he heaved it up, pitched it about a hundred yards, says, “You run get it now, Jack. See can you pitch it back here to where I’m at.”

  Jack ran to where it fell, reached down and took hold on it. Looked up ’way past the old giant, put his hand up to his mouth, hollers, “Hey, Uncle! Hey, Uncle!”

  The old giant looked all around, says, “What you callin’ me Uncle for?”

  “I ain’t callin’ you.—Hey! Uncle!”

  “Who are ye hollerin’ at, Jack?”

  “Why, I got a uncle over in Virginia,” says Jack. “He’s a blacksmith and this old crowbar would be the very thing for him to make up into horseshoes. Iron’s mighty scarce over there. I thought I’d just pitch this out there to him.—Hey! UNCLE!”

  “Oh, no, Jack. I need that crowbar. Pray don’t pitch it over in Virginia.”

  “Well, now,” says Jack, “I can’t be bothered with pitchin’ it back there just to where you are. If I can’t pitch it where I want, I’ll not pitch it at all.”

  “Leave it layin’ then, Jack. Come on, let’s go back to the house.—You turn loose of my crowbar now.”

  They got back, the giant went in and told his old woman he couldn’t find out nothin’ about Jack. Said for her to test him awhile herself. Says, “I’ll go after firewood. You see can’t you get him in the oven against I get back, so’s we can eat.”

  Went on out, says to Jack, “I got to go get a turn of wood, Jack. You can go on in the house and get ready for supper.”

  Jack went on in, looked around, didn’t see a thing cookin’, and there set a big old-fashioned clay oven with red-hot coals all across it, and the lid layin’ to one side.

  The old giant lady came at him, had a wash rag in one hand and a comb in the other’n, says, “Come here now, Jacky. Let me wash ye and comb ye for supper.”

  “You’re no need to bother,” says Jack. “I can wash.”

  “Aw, Jack. I allus did wash my own boys before supper. I just want to treat ye like one of my boys.”

  “Thank ye, m’am, but I gen’ally wash and comb myself.”

  “Aw, please, Jack. You let me wash ye a little now, and comb your head. Come on, Jacky, set up here on this shelf so’s I won’t have to stoop over.”

  Jack looked and saw that shelf was right on one side of the big dirt oven. He cloomb on up on the scaffle, rockled and reeled this-a-way and that-a-way. The old woman kept tryin’ to get at him with the rag and comb, but Jack kept on teeterin’ around till he slipped off on the wrong side. He cloomb back up and he’d rockle and reel some more. The old woman told him, says, “Sit straight now, Jack. Lean over this way a little. Sakes alive! Don’t ye know how to sit up on a shelf?”

  “I never tried sittin’ on such a board before,” says Jack. “I don’t know how you mean.”

  “You get down from there a minute. I reckon I’ll have to show ye.”

  She started to climb up there on the scaffle, says, “You put your shoulder under it, Jack. I’m mighty heavy and I’m liable to break it down.”

  Jack put his shoulder under the far end, and when the old woman went to turn around and sit, Jack shoved up right quick, fetched her spang in the oven. Grabbed him up a hand-spike and prized the lid on. Then he went and hid behind the door.

  Old giant came in directly. Heard somethin’ in the oven just a-crackin’ and a-poppin’.

  “Old woman! Hey, old woman! Jack’s a-burnin’.”

  When she didn’t answer, the old giant fin’ly lifted the lid off and there was his old lady just about baked done, says, “Well, I’ll be confounded! That’s not Jack!”

  Jack stepped out from behind the door, says, “No, hit sure ain’t. And you better mind out or I’ll put you in there too.”

  “Oh, pray, Jack, don’t put me in there. You got us licked, Jack. I’m the only one left now, and I reckon I better just leave this country for good. Now, you help me get out of here, Jack, and I’ll go off to some other place and I’ll promise not to never come back here no more.”

  “I’d sure like to help ye, daddy, but I don’t think we got time now. Hit’s too late.”

  “Too late? Why, how come, Jack?”

  “The King told me he was goin’ to send a army of two thousand men down here to kill ye this very day. They ought to be here any minute now.”

  “Two thousand! That many will kill me sure. Law, what’ll I do? Pray, Jack, hide me somewhere.”

  Jack saw a big chest there in the house, told the old giant to jump in that. Time he got in it and Jack fastened the lid down on him, Jack ran to the window and made-out like that army was a-comin’ down the holler, says, “Yonder they come, daddy. Looks to me like about three thousand. I’ll try to keep ’em off, though. You keep right still now and I’ll do my best not to let ’em get ye.”

  Jack ran outside the house and commenced makin’ a terrible racket, bangin’ a stick on the walls, rattlin’ the windows, shoutin’ and a-hollerin’, a-makin’-out like he was a whole army. Fin’ly he ran back in the house, knocked over the table and two or three chairs, says, “You quit that now and get on out of here! I done killed that old giant! No use in you a-breakin’ up them chairs. He ain’t here I tell ye!”

  Then Jack ’uld tumble over some more chairs and throw the dishes around considerable, says, “You all leave them things alone now, ’fore I have to knock some of ye down.”

  Then he’d run by that chest and beat on it, says, “He ain’t in there. You all leave that chest alone. He’s dead just like I told ye. Now you men march right on back to the King and tell him I done got shet of them giants and there ain’t ary one left.”

  Well, Jack fin’ly made like he’d done run the army off. Let the old giant out the chest. He was just a-shakin’, says, “Jack, I sure do thank ye for not lettin’ all them men find out where I was at.”

  So Jack took the old giant on down to the depot, put him on a freight train, and they hauled him off to China.
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  The King paid Jack two thousand dollars for bakin’ the old giant lady, but he said he couldn’t allow him nothin’ on the old giant because the trade they’d made was that Jack had to bring in the heads.

  Jack didn’t care none about that, ’cause his overhall pockets were just a-bulgin’ with money when he got back home. He didn’t have to clear that newground for the King, neither. He paid his two brothers, Will and Tom, to do it for him.

  And the last time I went down to see Jack he was a-doin’ real well.

  Jack and the Bull

  One time Jack was bound out to a man who was rich and had lots of land and cattle. The old man liked Jack and treated him all right, but his old wife she didn’t like Jack a bit, just hated him, and she treated him mean ever’ chance she got. They had three girls at that house and they didn’t like Jack much either. He had to work awful hard, and all he got for it was a few ragged clothes and scrappy vittles.

  Then one day the old woman decided she’d try to get rid of Jack by starvin’ him to death. She’d fix breakfast while Jack was gone to milk the cows of a mornin’ and she’d fix supper when he milked of an evenin’, and at dinner time she just wouldn’t call Jack to come and eat at all.

  So it wasn’t long till Jack did get to starvin’. He got so weak he could hardly walk. And one evenin’ when Jack was goin’ up in the pasture to drive the cows down, he just couldn’t make it; he gave plumb out and sat down on a rock. He didn’t know what to do. Then he saw a strange black bull come out of the woods; jumped over in the pasture and walked up to Jack, says, “What’s the matter, Jack?”

  Jack told him; then the bull says, “You’re no need to worry about that any more, Jack. You just screw off my left horn and you’ll find bread, and screw off my right horn and you’ll find milk.”

  Jack took off the bull’s left horn and gave it a shake and out fell as fine a little pone of bread as ever you’d want. Jack grabbed it up and started eatin’. Then Jack took off the right horn and when he tipped it up the milk just come a-pourin’ out. It wouldn’t empty no matter how long you tipped it. So Jack shook out some more pones of bread and held the milk horn in one hand drinkin’ out of it like a cup and he eat all he wanted. Then he screwed the horns back on the bull and told him he sure was much obliged.

  Well, the bull stayed there and Jack got fat as a pig. The old woman she wondered how Jack could be gainin’ flesh when she wasn’t givin’ him anything to eat. She saw how the strange bull had taken up with Jack and she finally decided to find out where Jack was gettin’ his rations.

  Now one of their girls was one-eyed. The old woman sent her to spy on Jack and his bull. The girl got behind a bush, but Jack saw her. So he got out his fiddle and fiddled that one eye shut in no time. Eat his supper and the girl slept right on, didn’t see a thing.

  Next day the old woman sent her second girl. She had two eyes, and Jack fiddled a tune twice as long as he did before. Then when he knowed both her eyes were shut, he eat his supper; and when the girl woke up there was Jack and his bull just standin’ around. So she went back and told her mother she didn’t see a thing.

  The old woman she was mad. She called her three-eyed girl the next evenin’ and told her if she didn’t find out where Jack was gettin’ his supper she’d whip her. So the three-eyed girl went to watch. Jack got out his fiddle and played another sleepy tune, played it three times as long as he did before. Well, one of the girl’s eyes went to sleep, then another one shut to, but she didn’t want to get whipped so she kept poppin’ her third eye open every time it started gettin’ sleepy and fin’ly Jack thought it was shut and went and got his bread and milk, and the girl saw him do it, so she slipped out and ran back and told her mother.

  Well, the next day, the old woman told ’em she wanted a bull’s melt to eat and that Jack’s bull would have to be killed so she could get his melt. The old man tried to get her to let him kill some other bull. No, she had to have the melt out of Jack’s bull. No other melt would satisfy her. So the old man fin’ly went and told Jack.

  Jack didn’t know what to do then. And that evenin’ when he went to do his feedin’ and milkin’, he was so worried he was just about to cry. His bull came over to him, says, “What’s the matter this time, Jack?”

  When Jack told him the bull studied awhile, then he said, “This is what we’ll do, Jack: when they get fixed to kill me, I won’t let nobody near me but the old woman. You agree to knock me in the head and I’ll let the old woman get a hold on me, and when you go to strike me, you make a mis-lick and hit the old woman, and then you jump on my back and we’ll run away.”

  So the next day they sent Jack to drive his bull down to the house to be killed. The bull came right along, acted peaceable enough, but when the old man undertook to get hold on him, the bull r’ared around and backed off; wouldn’t let the old man come anywhere near him. Then the old woman came out. Jack was a-standin’ there with a big pole axe in his hands.

  “Sook buck,” says the old lady. “Sook here! Sook buck! Stand still now.”

  She came over to him with the salt gourd in her hands and he stood still and let her get to petting him and feedin’ him salt. Then she laid hold on his horns and hollered, “Run here quick, Jack! Knock him in the head.”

  Jack came a runnin’, swung that pole axe, and when it came down it clipped that old woman right between the eyes, killed her dead.

  Then Jack jumped on his bull’s back and they lit out from there to seek their fortune.

  They traveled on and traveled on and traveled on. Jack got his rations out the bull’s horns and the bull eat grass beside the road and drank from the springs and creeks. Then one day the bull put his head down to drink out of a spring and a lot of blue blubbers came up in the water.

  “That’s a bad sign, Jack,” says the bull.

  Well, they went on a ways, and along late in the evenin’ they heard another bull on ahead of’em just a-bellowin’.

  “I’ll have to fight that bull, Jack. Don’t you get scared, though. I expect I can lick him. You climb a tree when I start in to fightin’ him.”

  Directly they came on that other bull, a big blue one, standin’ in the road a-bellowin’ and pawin’ up the ground. Jack slipped off his bull’s back and cloomb a tree. The two bulls locked horns and went at it. They fought and they fought till fin’ly Jack’s bull got the other’n down and broke his neck.

  So Jack cloomb down again and unscrewed his bull’s horns and eat his supper, and his bull picked grass by the road. Then Jack’s bull laid down and Jack curled up right close to him and they both went on to sleep.

  Next day Jack’s bull started to drink from a spring and a lot of red blubbers came up in the water.

  “Another bad-luck sign, Jack,” he says. And then just about dark they heard another bull a-bellowin’ up the road a piece.

  “I’ll have to fight again, Jack. I’m sort of tired out from that fight yesterday but I expect I can whip him. So don’t get uneasy.” Then Jack saw a great big red bull comin’ down the road. The red bull stopped and bellowed and pawed the ground, and Jack cloomb a tree. The two bulls locked horns and just had it up and down the road, fought and fought and fought. Jack’s bull got throwed a time or two, and Jack thought he’d get killed sure, but the black bull would get up again and fight right on. And fin’ly Jack’s bull throwed the red ’un and kept him down till he gored him to death.

  Then they eat their supper, Jack from his bull’s horns and the bull from grass ’side the road, and after they’d eat, they laid down together and went to sleep.

  Next mornin’ Jack noticed his bull wasn’t travelin’ so fast as he had been, but they went on and went on, and then Jack’s bull went to drink and a lot of white blubbers came up. The bull didn’t say nothin’. He and Jack went on and went on, and just about sundown they heard a bull bellow up ahead of’em, bellowed so loud it shook the ground. Jack’s bull stopped, says, “I’m just about give out, Jack. I don’t know whether I can lick that bull or
not. Now if he was to kill me, Jack, you just skin a strop from the end of my tail to the tip of my nose and take off my horns with it. And if anybody was to bother ye, all you got to do is to take all that out and say,

  ‘Tie, strop, tie!

  Beat, horns, beat!’

  and they’ll do any tyin’ or beatin’ you want done.”

  Jack said “All right”; and then they saw the other bull a-comin’, big white one with his head down and swingin’ from side to side. He stopped and pawed the dirt and put his head up high and bellowed again. Jack slipped off his bull and got up in a tree. Then the black bull put his head down and made for the big white ’un and they fought and fought and fought all over the ground, and Jack’s bull put up an awful good fight, scratched that other bull up considerable, but he fin’ly got throwed and couldn’t get up and the white bull killed him.

  So after the other bull went off, Jack came down and did what his bull had told him about skinnin’ that strop from his back and takin’ the horns. Then he doubled that up under his arm and went on.

  He traveled for two or three days, and then he saw he was gettin’ right raggedy, and he decided he’d hunt some work so he could get him some clothes. First house he came to the next day he knocked on the door and an ugly old woman stuck her head out.

  “What ye want?”

  “I’m lookin’ for work,” Jack told her.

  “Can ye herd sheep?”

  “Yes’m, I know to herd sheep.”

  So the old woman hired Jack to tend her sheep, put him right to work. Jack got out on the mountain with the sheep, and directly a feller came through the pasture and got to talkin’ to Jack, says, “You’ll never see no peace with that old woman, Jack. She’s a witch. You better watch out for her.”