The Jack Tales Page 5

  So the old cat jumped down off the fence.

  The old donkey says, “Hop up there on my back and you can ride.”

  The old cat jumped up, got behind the dog, and they went on down the public road.

  Came to where they saw an old rooster settin’ on a fence post, crowin’ like it was midnight, makin’ the awfulest lonesome racket—

  “Ur rook-a-roo!

  Ur-r-r rook-a-roo-oo-oo!”

  “Hello!” says Jack. “What’s troublin’ you?”

  “Law me!” says the old rooster. “Company’s comin’ today and I heard ’em say they were goin’ to kill me, put me in a pie.”

  “Come on with us,” says Jack.

  Old rooster flew on down, got behind the cat, says, “All right, boys. Let’s go!”

  So they went right on down the highway. That was about all could get on the old donkey’s back. The old rooster was right on top its tail and a-havin’ a sort of hard time stayin’ on. They traveled on, traveled on, till hit got plumb dark.

  “Well,” says Jack, “we got to get off the road and find us a place to stay tonight.”

  Directly they came to a little path leadin’ off in the woods, decided to take that, see could they find ’em a stayin’ place in there. Went on a right smart piece further, and ’way along up late in the night they came to a little house, didn’t have no clearin’ around it. Jack hollered hello at the fence, but there didn’t nobody answer.

  “Come on,” says the old donkey. “Let’s go in-vestigate that place.”

  Well, there wasn’t nobody ever came to the door and there wasn’t nobody around back of the house, so directly they went on in. Found a right smart lot of good somethin’ to eat in there.

  Jack says, “Now, who in the world do you reckon could be a-livin’ out here in such a wilder-ness of a place as this?”

  “Well,” says the old donkey, “hit’s my o-pinion that a gang of highway robbers lives out here.”

  So Jack says, “Then hit looks like to me we might as well take up and stay here. If they’ve done stole all these vittles, we got as much right to ’em as they have.”

  “Yes,” says the old dog, “that’s exactly what I think, too. But if we stay, I believe we better get fixed for a fight. I expect they’ll be comin’ back in here about midnight.”

  “That’s just what I was goin’ to say,” says the old cat. “I bet it’s pretty close to midnight right now.”

  “Hit lacks about a hour,” says the old rooster.

  “Come on, then,” says Jack. “Let’s all of us get set to fight ’em.” The ox said he’d stay out in the yard. The old donkey said he’d take up his stand on the porch just outside the door. The dog said he’d get in behind the door and fight from there. The old tomcat got down in the fireplace, and the old rooster flew up on the comb of the roof, says, “If you boys need any help now, just call on me, call on me-e-e!”

  They all waited awhile. Heard somebody comin’ directly; hit was seven highway robbers. They came on till they got pretty close to the house, then they told one of ’em to go on in and start up a fire so’s they could have a light to see to get in and so they could divide out the money they’d stole that day.

  One man went on in the house, the other six waited outside the gate.

  That man went to the fireplace, got down on his knees to blow up the fire. The cat had his head right down on the hearth-rock and that man thought its eyes was coals of fire. Time he blowed in that old cat’s eyes, it reached out its claws right quick and scratched him down both cheeks. The robber hollered and headed for the door. The dog ran out and bit him in the leg. He shook it off and ran on the porch and the old donkey raised up and kicked him on out in the yard. The ox caught him up on its horns and ran to the fence and threw him out in the bresh. About that time the old rooster settin’ up there on top of the house started in to crowin’ right big.

  The other robbers, time they heard all that racket, they put out from there just as fast as they could run. The one they’d sent in the house finally got up and started runnin’ like a streak, caught up with ’em in no time. They said to him, says, “What in the world was that in there?”

  “Oh, I’m killed! I’m killed!” says the man. “I won’t live over fifteen minutes!”

  The others said, “Well, ’fore ye die, tell us what it was caused all that racket back yonder.”

  “Law me! That house is plumb full of men, and they’ve even got one on the roof. I went to blow up the fire and a man in the fireplace raked me all over the face with an awl. Started to run and a man behind the door took me in the leg with a butcher knife. Time I got out the door, a man out there hit me with a knot-maul, knocked me clean off the porch. A man standin’ in the yard caught me on a pitchfork and threw me over the fence. And then that man up on the roof hollered out,

  ‘Chunk him on up here!

  Chunk him on up here!’

  Ain’t no use in us goin’ back there with all them men in the house. Let’s leave here quick ’fore they come after us.”

  So them highway robbers ran for their life, and kept on runnin’ till they were plumb out the country.

  Jack and the ox and the old donkey and the dog and the cat and the rooster, they took possession of that house, and just had ’em a big time.

  But the last time I was down that way, Jack had gone on back home to his folks. He was out in the yard a-cuttin’ his mother a big pile of stovewood.

  Jack and the North West Wind

  One time Jack and his folks lived in an old rickety house on top of a hill, and this time I’m tellin’ you about, Jack and his mother were the only ones at home. Jack’s daddy was off somewhere on the public works a-buildin’ road, and Jack’s two brothers, Will and Tom, they’d gone off to another settle-ment huntin’ ’em a job of work.

  Well, winter came and directly the weather got awful bad. It turned off real cold and set in to snowin’ and then the North West Wind commenced to blow, and one day hit got to whistlin’ in through the cracks of that old house, and Jack and his mother nearly froze.

  Jack’s mother told him he ought to get some boards and fix up the house a little. Jack studied awhile over that, and he recollected that Will had broke the hammer crackin’ walnuts, and Tom had used up all the nails mendin’ the fence, and that there wasn’t any boards except a few old rotten pieces at the barn. So Jack told his mother, No, said what he’d do, if it was him, he’d go and stop that North West Wind so it wouldn’t blow.

  His mother asked him how in the world he could do that, and Jack told her he’d go find the place where the wind came out, take his old hat and plug it right in the hole.

  Jack’s mother told him, says, “Why, Jack, you know that can’t be done.”

  But Jack said that was the very thing he aimed to do—said he could try it anyhow.

  So Jack spent pretty near all one day splittin’ his mother a big enough pile of firewood to do her till he got back. Then real early the next morning he got his old raggedy hat and pulled out.

  He traveled on, traveled on, traveled on, till he got a right far ways from home, and just ’fore dark he met up with an old man with a long gray beard.

  He was standin’ there one side the road, and when Jack got up to him, seemed like he knowed Jack, says, “Hello, Jack! What you up to this cold winter day?”

  “I’ve started out to stop that North West Wind,” says Jack. “We’re just about to freeze to death back home.”

  “Why, Jack, you can’t stop the North West Wind.”

  “Oh, yes, I can!” says Jack. “I’ll stop it all right—just as soon as I find the hole where it comes out at.”

  “That might be an awful long way off, Jack,” says the old man. “You just better come on up and stay the night with me.”

  “Much obliged,” says Jack, “but I reckon I better keep goin’. Just come and go with me.”

  “Why, I can’t let you stay out on the road, Jack. There ain’t another house between here and the st
ate line. You come on home with me and we’ll have us a snack to eat and talk this thing over ’fore ye go any further.”

  Well, Jack was pretty hungry, so he went on home with the old man, and they fixed up a good dinner, and Jack didn’t have to be begged to sit down at the table. They got done eatin’ directly and Jack helped get the dishes washed up. Then the old man says to Jack, says, “Now, Jack, you ought to go on back home tonight and look after your mother. If you do that, I’ll give ye a nice present. I’ve got a tablecloth here and all you have to do is lay it out and say,

  ‘Spread, tablecloth! Spread!’

  and ever’thing’ll come on it that anybody’d want to eat.”

  “All right,” says Jack. “That would be a mighty nice thing to have. We ain’t got much to eat just now, anyway.”

  So the old man wrapped up that tablecloth ready for Jack to start, says, “Now, Jack, you be sure and not stop at this next house back down the road. There’s some awful rowdy boys live there, and if you hang around ’em much, they’re liable to steal your tablecloth.”

  Well, Jack thanked the old man and took his tablecloth and went on.

  He came to that house and those boys happened to be out in the yard. They came out in the road and started talkin’ to Jack and Jack played with ’em awhile, and then they begged Jack to stop and lay up with ’em that night. It was gettin’ ’way along late in the evenin’, so Jack he went on in, and directly the boys got to askin’ him why he had that tablecloth under his arm. Jack didn’t tell ’em at first, but they got to pesterin’ him and teasin’ him so that finally Jack told ’em. They wouldn’t believe him and started makin’ fun of him till Jack unrolled it, said,

  “Spread, tablecloth! Spread!”

  And all manner of good vittles came out on it. So they all sat down and eat a big supper. Then Jack rolled it back up.

  Well, that night after Jack was asleep, the boys took another tablecloth and put it in the place of Jack’s. And the next morning Jack was up early and got back in home.

  He came on in the house, his mother says, “Well, Jack, ye never stopped that Wind. Hit’s a-blowin’ right on.”

  “No,” says Jack, “I never got to the place where it come out at. An old man gave me a present to come on back home.”

  “What did he give ye, Jack?”

  So Jack told her about the tablecloth and what it could do.

  “You try it out, then,” his mother says. “I sure would like to see that.”

  Jack laid it out, says,

  “Spread, tablecloth! Spread!”

  But there didn’t ever a thing come on it.

  So Jack’s mother took his tablecloth and cut it up. Made him a shirt out of it.

  II

  Jack stayed on at home about a week, and then that North West Wind got to blowin’ hard again. So one day Jack told his mother, says, “I’m a-goin’ to try again about stoppin’ that wind, now, and you needn’t look for me back till I get it stopped.”

  So Jack got his mother up a big pile of firewood and pulled out again. Took the same route he took before, and when he came to where that old man lived, Jack slipped through a field so he wouldn’t be seen. Got back in the road and went on. He came to a mill after a while, and there was the old man just comin’ out with his turn of meal on his shoulder, says, “Hello, Jack! Where you started to again this cold day?”

  “I’m a-goin’ to stop that North West Wind, uncle,” says Jack, “and I’m goin’ on this time till I get it plumb stopped.”

  “Why, you’ll freeze to death ’fore ye get to where that Wind comes out, Jack. You better just turn around and come on back up to the house with me.”

  “I ain’t goin’ to fool with you,” says Jack. “That old tablecloth you gave me wouldn’t do what you said it would.”

  “Did you stop at that house where I told ye not to stop at?”

  “Yes. I stayed the night there.”

  “They’ve got your tablecloth, Jack. You just go on home with me now, and I’ll see if I haven’t got somethin’ else to give ye. We’ll build us up a good warm fire and fix a little somethin’ to eat too.” Well, Jack was gettin’ pretty cold and he was hungry, so he went on up with the old man and they got dinner fixed. After they got through eating and got the dishes washed, the old man let Jack sit by his fire till he got good and warm, then he says to him, says, “Now, Jack, I’m goin’ to give ye a rooster to take home and all you have to do is hold your hat under it and say,

  ‘Come, gold! Come!’

  and that rooster’ll lay your hat full of golden eggs.”

  So Jack put the rooster under his arm and thanked the old man, and pulled out for home. The old man hollered after him, says, “You recollect now and not stop at that place where them devilish boys are.”

  Jack hollered back and said All right.

  He went on and got past that house, but he met up with the boys in the road. First thing, they began to ask him what the old man gave him that time, and finally Jack had to tell ’em, and they said there couldn’t no rooster lay eggs at all, let alone gold ones. Said Jack was makin’ up a whopper. So Jack set the rooster down and took his hat, says,

  “Come, gold! Come!”

  and the gold just came a-pourin’ out.

  Then the boys said to him, says, “Why, Jack, you’ve just got to stay all night with us. You sure ought to show that trick to daddy when he comes in.”

  Well, they talked so good that finally Jack decided to stay. The boys’ father took on a sight when they showed him about that rooster and he got Jack a box to keep it in that night. Jack slept hard and didn’t wake up at all when the boys slipped in his room and took his rooster out of the box and put another one in the place of it. It was so near like the real one that Jack didn’t notice it when he took it out the next morning and went on back in home.

  When he got there, his mother said to him, says, “Well, Jack, I see you’re back, and that Wind’s a-blowin’ right on.”

  “I never found the place where it comes out at, yet,” says Jack. “Saw that old man again, and he hired me to come back.”

  “What did he give ye this time?”

  Jack told her about his rooster, and she told him, says, “Let me see now whether it will or not.”

  Jack set the rooster out, says,

  “Come, gold! Come!”

  but there wasn’t a single egg to come. The old rooster just jumped up on a chair and crowed right big.

  “Hit’s a failure, Jack. You made a bobble this time, too.” So they killed the rooster and eat it for supper.

  III

  Jack stayed around home several days and tended to his feedin’ and milkin’ and kept up a good pile of wood by the fire; and then that North West Wind started blowin’ the hardest yet. It blasted right on through the house and whistled around the chimney and it commenced snowin’ in all over everything. Looked like a regular harricane was comin’. Blew through that old open house so hard it nearly put the fire out. Fin’ly Jack says to his mother, says, “I’m bound to go stop that Wind.” Says, “And that old man ain’t a-goin’ to turn me back this time either. We’ll freeze to death if that Wind ain’t stopped.”

  Well, Jack worked hard gettin’ up enough wood to do his mother a long time, and then he pulled out again. When he got near that old man’s place, he cut out through the woods so he wouldn’t see him at all.

  But he hadn’t gone any piece at all hardly ’fore he came on the old man out there a-rabbit huntin’, says, “Hel-lo, Jack! What in the world you doin’ back here again?”

  “I’m goin’ to stop that North West Wind,” says Jack, “and I’m a-goin’ on this time, too!”

  “What did ye do with the rooster I give ye, Jack?”

  “Hit wouldn’t do a thing you said. We killed it and eat it.”

  “Did you stop at that house again, Jack?”

  “Yes,” says Jack. “I stayed the night there.”

  “They’ve got your rooster. That’s what’s happ
ened sure.” Says, “Now, Jack, you better just leave that North West Wind alone now and come on home with me again. We’ll have to talk this over and see what we can do. No Sir! I’ll not let you go no further this cold stormy day.”

  Well, Jack was pretty near give out with stumblin’ through the snow, and he was cold and hungry too, so he let the old man have his way. They fixed up a good dinner, and Jack sat by the fire and got good and warm and rested, and directly the old man reached up over the fireboard and got down a little knotty-lookin’ club, says, “If you go back this time, Jack, I’ll give ye this club.”

  And he handed it to Jack, says, “Now, you can just take that club and say,

  ‘Playaway, club! Playaway!’

  and it’ll do any knockin’ you want done. Hit’ll even knock up wood for ye.” Says, “And this time I’m a-goin’ to show ye it’ll do what I tell ye, ’fore you leave.”

  So he took Jack outside the door and told Jack to tell it—

  “Playaway, club! Playaway!

  Knock up some wood!”

  So Jack told it and hit went and knocked down a big tree, knocked it right down off the hill plumb into the yard, knocked it into firewood, and broke some of it up into kindlin’.

  Jack just laughed and slapped his hands together, says, “I’ll sure go home! That’s the very thing I been a-wantin’!”

  So he got the club, and told the old man he was much obliged and started on back home. The old man came out and hollered after him, says, “Now, you be sure and not stop at that house where them rowdy boys are.”