The Jack Tales Page 8

  So they went back to the house and the man’s old woman was still in the bed. He asked her if she felt any better. She said No, said she’d not get up for a little while longer.

  So the man says to her, says, “You want me to send for the doctor?”

  She said No, said for him to send for some of the neighbor women. He asked her what women folks she wanted to come and she named out eleven women in the settle-ment. So the man sent word to ’em, and ’fore any of ’em got there he says to his wife, says, “Let me see your right hand.”

  The old woman sort of twisted around, poked out her left hand.

  “No,” says the old man, “hit’s your right hand I want to see.”

  So she twisted and turned, poked out her left hand again. Then he reached over and pulled out her right arm and there wasn’t no hand on it.

  Well, the women folks came readily as soon as they got word.

  The man says to Jack, says, “I been suspectin’ my old woman was mixed up with that gang of witches, but I’d ’a never ’lowed she was the head of it.”

  Jack says, “Oh, surely not.”

  Man says, “Yes, I knowed hit was her hand time I saw the ring on it.”

  Well, when the last of them eleven women got in with his old lady, that man shut the door on ’em and fired the house. Them twelve witches started crackin’ and poppin’, and ever’ one of’em was burnt plumb up.

  So Jack made a end of the witch gang in that settle-ment. And that man never did have no more trouble about his mill.

  Jack and the King’s Girl

  Jack had an uncle lived a right smart distance from where he and his mother lived at, and he decided one time he’d like to go up and see his uncle.

  Jack had done got so he wasn’t lazy no more—not so much as he used to be. So he worked hard all week, gettin’ in wood and fixin’ ever’thing up around the place, then he pulled out.

  Had to go right by the King’s house on the way to his uncle’s. The King had a awful pretty girl, but all her life she never had laughed, and the King had put out a adver-tize-ment that anybody that would make her laugh could marry her.

  Jack got down close to where the King lived and that girl was out on the porch, she saw Jack, says, “Where ye started, Jack?”

  Jack told her and she says to him, “I hope ye have a good time.”

  So Jack went on. His uncle was awful pleased to see him. They’d work a little and ever’ night somebody’d come there to play and make music. Jack had such a good time he plumb forgot about goin’ back home.

  So fin’ly his uncle says to him, “Jack, your mother’ll be gettin’ uneasy about you. She’ll be needin’ ye about gettin’ up wood, too. Don’t you reckon you better go on back home?”

  Jack says, “Yes. I guess I had better go, pretty soon.”

  “You fix up and go back today, Jack, and I’ll give ye a present. I’m goin’ to give you a big darnin’ needle. You can take that and learn how to sew your own overhalls when they get tore.”

  So he went and hunted up a big darnin’ needle he had, put a long thread in it and gave it to Jack.

  Jack pulled out, put the thread over his shoulder and let the needle swing down behind him.

  Got down to the King’s house; that girl was there, says, “You gettin’ back, are ye, Jack?”

  “Yes,” says Jack. “Had a awful good time.”

  “What’s that you got over your shoulder?”

  “Hit’s a big darnin’ needle uncle gave me, to hire me to go back home.”

  “Needle?” she says. “Law me! I never did see a man tote a needle that-a-way. You ought to stick that in your shirt bosom.”

  “Well’m,” says Jack.

  Jack got in home, told his mother all about what a good time he’d had. Started in to workin’ about the place, and he kept studyin’ about gettin’ back to his uncle’s again.

  So fin’ly Jack’s mother says to him, says, “You’ve worked right good this week, Jack. You fix up your wood and all, and I’ll let you go back to your uncle’s again. But you mustn’t stay so long this time.”

  Jack got ever’thing fixed up and pulled out.

  Got to the King’s house; that girl was there, says, “Hello, Jack. Where ye started this time?”

  Jack told her. She says, “Hope ye have a good time, and get another good present.”

  Well, Jack and his uncle went several places that week, and Jack had such a good time a-hearin’ fiddle music and banjo pickin’ he never studied about goin’ back home.

  So one day his uncle says, “You better go on back home now, Jack. I’m goin’ to give ye another premium. Hit’s a swoard my grandpa gave me. Hit was used in the Revolutionary War.”

  He went and got the swoard and gave it to Jack. Jack started on home. He took that swoard and stuck it right through his shirt bosom and out the other side.

  The King’s girl was out in the yard, saw Jack comin’, says, “Hello, Jack.”

  Then she saw that swoard stickin’ out of Jack’s shirt, says, “Law me, Jack! You’ve plumb ruined your shirt. Why, you ought to have carried that on your shoulder.”

  “Well’m,” says Jack, “next time I will.”

  Jack got back home, played around with that swoard till fin’ly he got a little tired of it. So he worked right on all week, got ever’thing shaped up, says to his mother, “How about me goin’ back to uncle’s again?”

  His mother let him go. Jack saw the King’s girl out at the gate and stopped and talked to her awhile. Got back to his uncle’s and had a big time. A gang of young folks ’uld come up there to Jack’s uncle’s place and they’d get to makin’ music and singin’ old songs, stay till nearly daylight. Then him and his uncle ’uld go some other place the next night, till fin’ly his uncle says, “Hit’s about time you went back home, Jack.”

  “Yes, I reckon it is,” says Jack.

  “I’m goin’ to give ye a nice present today. Maybe hit’ll keep you home a month this time. I got a young colt here. You can take it home with ye and break it to ride. Hit’ll take ye some time to get it broke good.”

  So he got a halter and brought Jack the colt. Jack thanked him and started on home. Got down close to the King’s place, Jack got right down under the colt and got it up on his shoulder.

  The King’s girl saw him comin’ a-totin’ that colt, she ran out to the fence, says, “Law me, Jack. You the awfulest fool man I ever did see. You ought to ride that.”

  “Well’m,” says Jack, “I’ll try to think of that next time.”

  When Jack got home, he went to foolin’ around with his colt, never thought a thing about goin’ back to his uncle’s till nearly about a month. Then his colt began to get sort of old to him, and he com-menced to talk about goin’ back to see his uncle.

  “Why, Jack,” says his mother, “I ’lowed you wouldn’t never leave your colt.”

  “Well,” says Jack, “you can take care of it while I’m gone.”

  So Jack got all his work done up and pulled out again.

  That girl was out in the yard and her and Jack talked awhile, then Jack went on to his uncle’s.

  They worked around the place a little, went huntin’ a time or two, and ever’ night some young folks ’uld come up there and Jack ’uld get to frolickin’ with ’em. They made music and got to playin’ Weevily Wheat and Skip to My Lou and runnin’ eight-handed reels and all. Jack never did have such a good time and his uncle was an awful good hand to call figures. Jack plumb forgot all about that colt and his mother bein’ likely to run out of firewood, till pretty soon his uncle said he reckoned Jack better be gettin’ on back.

  “Yes,” says Jack, “I guess I ought to have went ’fore this time.”

  “I got a nice little heifer up here, Jack, and I’m goin’ to give it to you so you can have a good milk cow to go with your horse. You keep it fed up real well, and your mother can milk it for ye.”

  Got him a line and tied that heifer by the horns, gave it to Jack. Jack thanked
him and started leadin’ his heifer on back home.

  Jack got down close to the King’s house, he saw that girl was out at the washin’ place where they were all a-workin’ with the clothes. So Jack remembered and he went to jump on that heifer’s back; somehow or other he landed on it hind side to, grabbed hold on its tail and started in hollerin’. That young heifer started bawlin’ and jumpin’ from one side the road to the other, and went a-gallopin’ on down to where the King’s folks was a-washin’ at. The King’s girl looked up and saw Jack gettin’ shook up and down and a-slippin’ first one side, then the other’n, on the heifer’s back and him a-hold of its tail and a-hollerin’ for help, and she raised up and laughed so loud they heard her all over town. She stood there and laughed and slapped her hands till the King came out. And when he saw Jack and that calf, he started in to laughin’ too, laughed till he had to sit down.

  Fin’ly some of’em caught the heifer and holp Jack off.

  The old King took Jack over in town and bought him a new suit of clothes. Then he hitched up two fine horses to a buggy and rode Jack and his girl over to a big church and had ’em married.

  The girl she went on home with Jack, and the last time I was down there they were all gettin’ on right well.

  Fill, Bowl! Fill!

  This here tale’s another’n about Jack goin’ a-courtin’. And there’s some more tales about Jack gettin’ married; like that ’un about the doctor’s girl, and there was that pretty girl down in Old Fire Dragaman’s hole in the ground. ’Course Jack didn’t marry all them girls at once. Hit might ’a been one way and hit might ’a been another. There’s just different ways of tellin’ it.

  Well, this time it wasn’t no King’s girl. There was a farmer lived ’way back in the mountain had two awful pretty girls, and the boys were all crazy about ’em. This farmer, though, he was wealthy, and he didn’t want the boys comin’ around there, so he fixed up a way to get shet of ’em.

  He put out a adver-tize-ment that any boy who wanted one of his girls would have to ketch ’em a wild rabbit and put it in a ring and make it stay there thirty minutes. That was his proposition: they would have to bring the rabbit and he’d make a ring ten foot across; then they’d put the rabbit in there and if it stayed thirty minutes, they could have one of the girls. But if the rabbit failed to stay that long, he’d kill the boy that had brought the rabbit.

  Well, not many went to try, but some did, and the old man cut their heads off. Directly it got so the boys mostly quit goin’ down here. That suited the old man fine. But then some boy would get so struck on one of the girls, he’d venture, and get his head cut off. Fin’ly it got so nobody’d go.

  Well, Jack he got to studyin’ about how he might get one of them girls. His mother told him he better not do that, but Jack said he’d just have to try. So he caught him a rabbit, and put him a little snack of dinner in a poke, and then he got fixed up and started out.

  About twelve o’clock in the wilder-ness, Jack met up with an old gray-bearded man. This old man looked like he was about a hundred years old, and he was walkin’ with a walkin’ stick.

  Jack came along, the old man stopped, says, “Howdy do, Jack.”

  “Howdy do, daddy.”

  Jack looked at him, says, “I don’t believe I know ye.”

  “No,” says the old man. “I know you, though, and I know right where you’ve started. You’re a-fixin’ to get killed, now, ain’t ye?”

  “I might, now,” says Jack.

  “Are you familiar with what you got to do to get one of them girls?”

  “Tol’able familiar,” says Jack.

  “Don’t you think you’d just as well start on back home?”

  “Oh, no,” says Jack. “I’d never turn back. I’m a-goin’ on down there now.”

  “Well, I might help ye,” says the old man, “if ye got any faith. How’s your faith, Jack?”

  Jack said his faith was pretty good, says, “I’d sure be much obliged was you to help me, daddy.”

  “Well, if you come down the road a piece with me, I’ll test you out a little and we’ll see whether you got faith or no.”

  Got down the road a ways, the old man says, “Now, Jack, you take this stick here and go up there in the woods a ways till you come to a very flush spring. Then you take my stick and stir in that spring till the water turns to wine. And against ye get that done, I’ll come up there with somethin’ to help ye.”

  So Jack took that walkin’ stick and went on to where there was a very bold spring comin’ out the ground. Stuck that stick down in it and com-menced stirrin’.

  Jack’s faith was sort of weak when he started, but he ’lowed he’d have to keep on tryin’. He stirred right on, stirred right on, and pretty soon it looked like the water was turnin’ just a little bit pink. So Jack’s faith got stronger and stronger and the water got redder and redder.

  Well, when that spring turned real red, there was that old man standin’ there, says, “Well, Jack, you sure got faith. Now you get out your lunch and we’ll eat a little and try some of that and see whether it tastes like wine or not.”

  So they did, and that water was just as good as any wine.

  Then the old man says to Jack, says, “I’ve done made ye a drill here, Jack. You can take that and stick it down in the middle of the ring that man’ll make and your rabbit’ll stay in there till it dies; it don’t differ how wild he is.”

  He gave Jack a drill shaved out of a stick. It was eight-square like a steel drill and about a foot long.

  Jack thanked him and started on again.

  Got down to that place where the girls were, Jack hollered the old man out and said he’d come to try for one of his girls.

  The man told Jack to come around in the yard, and then he marked out a ring, says, “Now, you put your rabbit down in this ring and if it stays in there thirty minutes, you can take whichever girl you want. And if it don’t stay in the ring thirty minutes, I’ll kill you. You understand now, do ye?”

  Jack said he did, made like he was goin’ to turn his rabbit loose.

  The man says to him, says, “I’ll make ye another proposition; if you can make that rabbit stay in there thirty minutes, I’ll just let you kill me and take all the money I got.”

  Jack went and stuck that drill down in the middle of the ring, and dumped the rabbit out the poke he had it in. The rabbit got up on its feet, saw that drill and took out around it hard as it could go, around and around and around.

  The old man watched Jack’s rabbit a-goin’ around in there, and his eyes just stuck out. Walked around the other side the ring, watched it some more. That rabbit ran right on, ’round and ’round the drill. The old man kept takin’ out his watch; fin’ly he turned around and went on back in the house.

  So the oldest girl she went out, says to Jack, “What’ll ye take for that drill, Jack?”

  Jack says, “I don’t know as I’d want to sell it right now.”

  “I’ll give ye a thousand dollars for it.”

  “No,” says Jack, “I’ll not sell it.”

  So she went on back, told her daddy she couldn’t make no trade.

  Then he sent his youngest girl out.

  She came up ’side of Jack, says, “Jack, I’d like awful well to buy that drill.”

  “Well,” says Jack, “you can have it after thirty minutes is up.”

  “Aw, Jack,” she says, “I want it now. I’ll pay ye two thousand dollars for it.”

  “No,” says Jack, “you wait till thirty minutes is out, and then we’ll trade.”

  So she saw she couldn’t do no good, went on back in the house.

  Then the man said to his old lady, says, “You go.”

  She went out.

  “Jack, I’d sure like to trade ye out of that drill. You can have one of the girls, right now; and I’ll give ye three thousand dollars and ever’thing on the place.”

  “No,” says Jack, “not till thirty minutes is out.”

  The old lady wen
t on back, says, “I can’t do a thing with him. He won’t even talk about sellin’.”

  The old man looked at his watch, says, “Well, that thirty minutes is about up. I reckon I’ll have to go on out and let Jack kill me.”

  Started out, picked up a big bowl off the table, and took that to Jack, says, “Jack, it looks like your rabbit’s goin’ to stay in there. You might as well kill me.” Says, “’Fore you do, though, I wish you’d sing this bowl full of lies for me.”

  “All right,” says Jack, “I’ll try.”

  FILL, BOWL! FILL!

  Recorded by John Powell at Marion, Virginia, August 1936.

  Fill, Bowl! Fill!

  Recorded by John Powell at Marion, Virginia, August, 1936.

  Says, “Is it full?”

  “No,” says the old man, “only one drop.”

  “Oh, the youngest daughter she came out

  All for to buy my drill.

  I fooled around her, kissed her well.

  Fill, bowl! Fill!

  Is it full yet?”

  “Just two drops, Jack.”

  “Oh, the old lady she came out

  All for to buy my drill

  I fooled around her, ki . . .”

  “Stop, Jack! Hit’s full and runnin’ over. Just cut my head off.”

  Hardy Hardhead

  Now there was another King lived off’way back in the country and his girl got witched somehow or other. So the King put out an oration that any man who could break the enchantment on his girl could marry her. Will and Tom heard about that and they decided to see could they do it. What they had to do was to go to the old witch that had put the enchant-ment on the girl and out-do her in every trick she put up to be done.