The Jack Tales Page 9

  Well, Will was the oldest, so he went first. His mother fixed him up a cake and a bottle of wine, and early one mornin’ Will pulled out. He traveled on and about twelve o’clock he came to a big oak tree and sat down under it to eat his dinner.

  He took the cake and wine out of his poke, and just about the time he started in eatin’ here came an old man with a long gray beard and a-leanin’ on a walkin’ stick.

  “Hello, stranger.”

  “Hello,” says Will.

  “I’m hungry,” says the old man. “Could you give me a little bite of something to eat?”

  “No,” says Will. “I ain’t hardly got enough for myself.”

  So the old man went on off and Will eat his cake and drank up his wine and went on. He kept inquirin’ about the old witch and fin’ly got to her house. He told her he’d come to try to break the enchant-ment on the King’s girl, so she went and got out a big hackle. A hackle, that’s a board about a foot square with a lot of long sharp iron spikes stickin’ up out of it. Back in old times they used a hackle to comb the tow out of flax so you could spin it into linen thread.

  Well, the old witch set that hackle on the ground and got up on a stump and turned a somerset, hit her back right on top of the hackle, and bounced off on her feet.

  “Now,” she says to Will, “you see can you do that. I’ll lay a bet with ye that you can’t do it.”

  Will put down what money he had and the old witch matched it, then he got up on the stump and when he came down on the hackle it stove into him and like to killed him. The old witch laughed and Will crawled on off and went back home.

  Well, one day Tom decided he’d go. So his mother fixed him some cake and wine in a poke and Tom lit out. He got to that oak tree and started eatin’ his dinner and here came the old man.

  “Hello, stranger.”

  “Hello,” says Tom. “What do you want?”

  “I’m hungry,” says the old man. “Could you spare me a little bite to eat?”

  “Got no time to fool with ye,” says Tom; “ain’t hardly enough for me.”

  So the old man went off and Tom eat up all his cake and wine and hit the road again and fin’ly got to the old witch’s house. She got out the hackle and made her bet with Tom, and she bounced off of it, and Tom lit on it and it stove into his back and crippled him up considerable. So he lost his money and had to hobble on back home the best way he could.

  Then Jack he got to studyin’ about it and one day he asked his mother could he go. She wouldn’t let him, but he kept on beggin’ her till fin’ly she said All right. She didn’t fix Jack nothin’ but an ash cake and a bottle of spring water.

  Jack sat down under that oak tree and had just reached in his little poke for the ash cake when there stood that weezledy old man.

  “Hello, Jack,”

  “Why, howdy, daddy. Come sit down and let’s eat a bite. It’s not much, but you’re welcome to half of it.”

  “Thank ye, son. How you gettin’ on?”

  “’Bout like common,” Jack told him.

  So the old man sat down against the tree, and when Jack took out his ash cake it was a great big spice cake instead, and when he got out his bottle of water it had turned into the finest reddest wine you ever saw. So he and the old man eat cake and drank wine and sat there a-talkin’ about one thing and another.

  Fin’ly the old man says, “Now, Jack, hit’s been tried a right smart, goin’ down there to break that enchant-ment. Ever’ man that’s been down there has lost money, and some of’em have been killed on that hackle the old witch has got.”

  “Well,” says Jack, “I ’lowed I might have some showin’ maybe. Thought I’d go down and try it out, anyhow.”

  “Hit may be so I can help ye, Jack.”

  “I’d be much obliged if you would, daddy.”

  “Then you just sit right here till I get back, Jack, and I’ll bring ye somethin’ that might be a little use to you.”

  Jack waited and in just a few minutes the old man came back with a little trick made out of wood and all folded up.

  He handed it to Jack and says, “Now, Jack, you can take this and lay it on the ground and unfold it and it’ll make you a ship that’ll sail dry land just like one of them boats they run on the ocean. If you got faith, all you’ve got to do is unfold that ship and get in it and say,

  ‘Sail, ship! Sail!’

  and it’ll take you anywhere you’ve a mind to go.”

  Jack took the ship and thanked the old man. Then he set it on the ground and unfolded it and there was a great big ship.

  Then the old man told him, says, “You take in every man you meet between here and the old witch’s house. Call every man you see along the way. You may need a lot of help ’fore you can outdo that old woman. And here, you’ll need some money too. Just take this poke with ye. It’s got a thousand dollars in gold in it. You can pay me back when you get ready.”

  So Jack took the money and thanked him for that. Then he got in his ship and said,

  “Sail, ship! Sail!”

  and the ship went sailin’ along right over the fields and trees and creeks and houses and fences just as pretty as anything you ever saw. Then Jack looked down below him and there was a man runnin’ along buttin’ his head against trees and stumps a-knockin’ ’em every which-a-way. He’d run against a big rock, bust it up and go right along.

  Jack hollered to him, “Hello, stranger! What’s your name?”

  “My name’s Hardy Hardhead.”

  “Hardy Hardhead I think you are. Come on in my ship.”

  Hardy Hardhead got in the ship and they sailed on. Then Jack saw a man runnin’ across a pasture-field eatin’ cows up as fast as he came to ’em. Didn’t take him no time at all to get one eat, horns, hoofs, hide and all.

  “Hello, stranger! What’s your name?”

  “Eatwell’s my name.”

  “Eatwell I think you are. Come on in here.”

  Eatwell got in and on they went. Saw a man directly runnin’ along a creek bed drinkin’ the creek up as fast as he went.

  “Hello, stranger! What may your name be?”

  “My name’s Drinkwell.”

  “Drinkwell you are. Come on here with us.”

  Drinkwell got on board and they sailed right on. Then they saw a man run past their ship so fast it looked like he was flyin’. He wasn’t runnin’ on but one leg either. He’d hold the other’n up off the ground and still out-run the rabbits. Jack just did see him as he passed ’em.

  “Hey, Runwell!”

  Runwell didn’t stop, but started runnin’ circles around the ship.

  “That’s my name. What can I do for ye?”

  “I’d like to have you in my ship,” says Jack.

  So Runwell ran in the ship and on they sailed.

  Then they saw a man standin’ with his head turned up like he was listenin’.

  “Hello, stranger! What’s your name?”

  “My name’s Harkwell. I can hear a chigger grittin’ his teeth in a tall chinquapin tree over on that mountain yonder.”

  “Harkwell you must be. Come on in my ship.”

  Harkwell climbed in and they sailed on. Saw a man with his hand over his eyes like he was lookin’ at somethin’ ’way off.

  “Hello, stranger! What can your name be?”

  “Seewell’s my name. I can see a gnat followin’ that hawk a-flyin’ around over there in England.”

  “Seewell I think you are. I’d like to have you in my ship.”

  Seewell got on board and on they went. Then they saw a man standin’ on a hill with a long rifle raised up. He was a-sightin’ over the gun-barrel a long way off somewhere.

  “Hello, there! What’s your name?”

  “My name’s Shootwell. Just wait a minute till I shoot the squirrel that’s a-sittin’ in that tree over there in Scotland. I’m goin’ to hit him right in his left eye.” Bam! “I got ’im.”

  “Shootwell you sure must be. Come on and go with us.”
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  So Shootwell got in the ship and they sailed on to where the old witch lived. She came out and asked ’em what did they want.

  “We’ve come to try out against some of your tricks,” says Jack.

  “All right,” she says. “I’ll bet ye a thousand dollars you’ve not got a man can bounce off my hackle and not get hurt.”

  “I’ll take you up,” says Jack.

  “You got your money?”

  “Here it is,” Jack told her, and he counted it out.

  Then she got out her hackle and got up on a stump, turned a somerset, lit on the hackle and bounced off, danced all around a-laughin’.

  Then Jack says, “Hello, Hardy Hardhead.”

  “Right here, sir!”

  “See can you do that.”

  Hardy Hardhead ran up on the stump and took a back somerset, came down head-first on the old witch’s hackle, broke out ever’ tooth in it and never got scratched.

  “Well,” she says, “you’ve got me beat on that. Now have you got anybody can out-eat me?”

  “Eatwell!”

  “Right here, sir!”

  So the old witch brought out two big fat beef cattle and she took her stand by one and Eatwell got before the other one. Then she hollered, “Go!”, and Eatwell jumped out and eat up his cow and a horse and a couple of sheep and some pigs, and the old witch hadn’t even eat half of her cow.

  So she says, “I’ll bet you got nobody can out-drink me.”

  “Drinkwell!” says Jack.

  “Here I am, sir!”

  Well, that witch she took her stand at the head of one creek and Drinkwell went and got at the head of another one across the holler and Drinkwell had drunk his creek dry, two or three branches, and was a-drinkin’ up the river ’fore the old woman had had a chance to take one swallow.

  Jack had made a thousand dollars ever’ time, but the old witch kept right on.

  “Now the next proposition is to out-run me,” she says. “Hit’s seven hundred miles from here to the ocean. We’ll take two eggshells and see who can get back first with his shell full of ocean water. Hit’ll be salt water, so we can tell whether you run plumb there or not. And we’ll bet another thousand dollars on this footrace.”

  “I’ll have to raise it to four thousand,” says Jack. So the old woman got the money and laid it down. Then she got the two eggshells.

  Jack backed up to the ship.

  “Runwell! Come on out here.”

  He gave him his eggshell and the old witch took hers and they got on the line. Jack hollered, “One, two, three—go!” And off they shot! They were out of sight ’fore you could turn around. Then Jack and the others sat down to wait.

  Runwell got to the ocean and filled his eggshell full of ocean water, and started on back. He met the old witch about halfway. She knowed it wasn’t any sense in her runnin’ on, so she hollered to Runwell, “Hey! Wait a minute! Hit ain’t no use runnin’ ourselves to death. Let’s sit down here and rest awhile.”

  Runwell stopped and they sat down and got to talkin’. Then she grabbed him and pulled him over, witched him sound asleep. She put an old horse’s jaw-bone under his head. That jaw-bone was fixed so Runwell would sleep as long as the bone was under his head, it didn’t differ how long. Then she mashed his eggshell and ran on toward the ocean. Runwell laid there hard and fast asleep.

  Well, back there where the others were a-waitin’, Jack began to get sort of uneasy about Runwell takin’ so long. Then he saw Harkwell jerk his head up and listen.

  “What do ye hear, Harkwell?”

  “I hear somebody snorin’,” he says.

  Then Jack told Seewell, “Seewell, look well and see what you can see.”

  Seewell looked away off, says, “Runwell’s a-layin’ with his head on a jaw-bone, sound asleep. His eggshell is busted, and the old woman is pretty near the ocean. I think she’s done witched Runwell with that thing under his head.”

  “Shootwell!” says Jack. “Shoot quick and see can you knock that jaw-bone out from under Runwell’s head.”

  Shootwell raised up his old long-rifle and shot. Hit was over three hundred miles, but he hit it a dead center, knocked that jawbone thirty feet. Runwell sat up and sort of scratched his head. He looked around a little bit addled for a minute, then he saw what had happened ’cause there was his eggshell all busted up. So he jumped up, ran back to the old witch’s henhouse, got him another eggshell, and ran on to the ocean. The old witch was stoopin’ over to get up water in her shell, and Runwell gave her a good kick, knocked her clean out in the middle of the ocean-sea. Then he filled his eggshell up, and he was back in no time.

  So Jack picked up all the money and he and the men got in the ship and sailed on home. Runwell and all the others went back to where they came from, and as far as I know they’re all a-gettin’ on all right.

  I never did hear whether Jack married the King’s girl or not, but anyhow she never was bothered with that enchant-ment any more after that. Jack went to where he met the old man and paid him back that thousand dollars in gold; and that ship, Jack’s got it yet, I reckon. He’s took me ridin’ in it several times.

  Old Fire Dragaman

  One time Jack and his two brothers, Will and Tom, were all of ’em a-layin’ around home; weren’t none of ’em doin’ no good, so their daddy decided he’d set ’em to work. He had him a tract of land out in a wilder-ness of a place back up on the mountain. Told the boys they could go up there and work it. Said he’d give it to ’em. Hit was a right far ways from where anybody lived at, so they fixed ’em up a wagonload of rations and stuff for house-keepin’ and pulled out.

  There wasn’t no house up there, so they cut poles and notched ’em up a shack. They had to go to work in a hurry to get out any crop and they set right in to clearin’ ’em a newground. They decided one boy ’uld have to stay to the house till twelve and do the cookin’.

  First day Tom and Jack left Will there. Will went to fixin’ around and got dinner ready, went out and blowed the horn to call Tom and Jack, looked down the holler and there came a big old giant steppin’ right up the mountain. Had him a pipe about four foot long, and he had a long old blue beard that dragged on the ground.

  When Will saw the old giant was headed right for the house, he ran and got behind the door, pulled it back on him and scrouged back against the wall a-shakin’ like a leaf. The old giant came on to the house, reached in and throwed the cloth back off the dishes, eat ever’thing on the table in one bite and sopped the plates. Snatched him a chunk of fire and lit his pipe; the smoke came a-bilin’ out. Then he wiped his mouth and went on back down the holler with that old pipe a-sendin’ up smoke like a steam engine.

  Tom and Jack came on in directly, says, “Why in the world ain’t ye got us no dinner, Will?”

  “Law me!” says Will. “If you’d ’a seen what I just seen you’d ’a not thought about no dinner. An old Fire Dragaman came up here, eat ever’ bite on the table, and sopped the plates.”

  Tom and Jack laughed right smart at Will.

  Will says, “You all needn’t to laugh. Hit’ll be your turn tomorrow, Tom.”

  So they fixed up what vittles they could and they all went back to work in the newground.

  Next day Tom got dinner, went out and blowed the horn. There came Old Fire Dragaman—

  “Law me!” says Tom. “Where’ll I get?”

  He ran and scrambled under the bed. Old Fire Dragaman came on up, eat ever’thing there was on the table, sopped the plates, and licked out all the pots. Lit his old pipe and pulled out down the holler, the black smoke a-rollin’ like comin’ out a chimley.

  Hit was a sight to look at.

  Will and Jack came in, says, “Where’s our dinner, Tom?”

  “Dinner, the nation! Old Fire Dragaman came back up here. Law me! Hit was the beatin’-est thing I ever seen!”

  Will says, “Where was you at, Tom?”

  “Well, I’ll tell ye,” says Tom; “I was down under the bed.”

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nbsp; Jack laughed, and Will and Tom says, “You just wait about laughin’, Jack. Hit’ll be your time tomorrow.”

  Next day Will and Tom went to the newground. They got to laughin’ about where Jack ’uld hide at when Old Fire Dragaman came.

  Jack fixed up ever’thing for dinner, went out about twelve and blowed the horn. Looked down the wilder-ness, there was Old Fire Dragaman a-comin’ up the hill with his hands folded behind him and a-lookin’ around this way and that.

  Jack went on back in the house, started puttin’ stuff on the table. Never payed no attention to the old giant, just went right on a-fixin’ dinner. Old Fire Dragaman came on up.

  Jack was scoopin’ up a mess of beans out the pot, says, “Why, hello, daddy.”

  “Howdy, son.”

  “Come on in, daddy. Get you a chair. Dinner’s about ready; just stay and eat with us.”

  “No, I thank ye. I couldn’t stay.”

  “Hit’s on the table. Come on sit down.”

  “No. I just stopped to light my pipe.”

  “Come on, daddy. Let’s eat.”

  “No, much obliged. I got no time.”

  Old Fire Dragaman reached in to get him a coal of fire, got the biggest chunk in the fireplace, stuck it down in his old pipe, and started on back. Jack took out and follered him with all that smoke a-bilin’ out; watched where he went to, and saw him go down a big straight hole in the ground.

  Will and Tom came on to the house, saw Jack was gone.

  Will says, “I reckon that’s the last of Jack. I’ll bet ye a dollar Old Fire Dragaman’s done took him off and eat him. Dinner’s still on the table.”

  So they set down and went to eatin’. Jack came on in directly. Will says, “Where’n the world ye been, Jack? We ’lowed Old Fire Dragaman had done eat ye up.”

  “I been watchin’ where Old Fire Dragaman went to.”

  “How come dinner yet on the table?”